Meltdown Mindfulness Techniques

author/ amanda/ august 30, 2023

Snuggle with a pet or stuffed animal

Snuggle with a pet or stuffed animal

Roll around on the floor

Roll around on the floor

Cry on the bathroom floor

Cry on the bathroom floor

Throw your body onto your bed/ Squeeze your body

Throw your body onto your bed/ Squeeze your body

Watch those amazing aquarium videos

Watch those amazing aquarium videos

Rock back and forth

Rock back and forth

      Have you ever wondered why everyone always says, “Just take deep breaths,” “Journal your feelings,” and “meditate” and literally none of those actions help? Oftentimes, methods such as those listed above are not very helpful or effective for girls and women with AuDHD during a meltdown. Yes, you may be able to engage in these techniques after the fact, but what can you do mid-meltdown? Many AuDHD girlies have experienced hyperventilation when trying to control their breathing by taking deep breaths mid-meltdown. Also, considering your emotions and thoughts have gone from zero to sixty, it’s nearly impossible to journal your feelings mid-moment as everything is so intense and heightened. Your thoughts might be racing too intensely or are far too negative to think clearly, let alone write. You may also be totally unsure of how you’re feeling, just that you are feeling SOMETHING way too much. This makes typical mindfulness techniques moot. The above techniques, along with many others, are “too calm” for an in-the-moment meltdown. Your thoughts and emotions are powerful and immediately trying to wind down probably won’t be very effective. Let’s take a look at some things you can safely do when in mid-meltdown that may prove to be more effective.

  • Roll around on the floor wildly (free from obstacles/furniture)
  • Aggressively play/punch play-doh or slime
  • Snuggle with your pet or stuffed animal
  • Squeeze your legs/arms tightly
  • Bounce on one of those cute indoor trampolines
  • *Prior,* make a meltdown playlist to listen to during your meltdowns
  • Rock your body back and forth
  • Cry on the bathroom floor
  • Allow yourself to stim however you see fit
  • Roll, bounce, and flop on a yoga ball
  • Cry and scream into your pillow
  • Shake your body/limbs
  • Remove restrictive clothing (in private)
  • Allow yourself to sigh really deeply and loudly, the most dramatic sigh ever. The more groaning and exhaling the better.
  • Throw your body onto your bed
  • Tense up the muscles in your whole body and then release. Repeat.
  • Hum to create vibration in your body

      Holding a meltdown inside is extremely stressful and taxing on your body, especially your nervous system. Try not to hold in your meltdowns as it may cause you to feel like imploding. If you are not in a safe place to express yourself in the moment, you may need to temporarily hold in your meltdown until you can get somewhere safe before essentially exploding. This is not ideal, but it is what many girls and women with AuDHD have grown accustomed to doing due to masking, people pleasing, and social acceptance/ fear of rejection.

      Now, what if your meltdowns are more internalized and you experience a shutdown? Whereas a meltdown is more akin to an active volcano or opening a bottle of shaken soda, a shutdown is more like trying to boot up a laptop whose battery was left to drain and it takes a long time to start up again when plugged in. When you are experiencing a shutdown, you may completely retreat and become unable to respond to stimuli and those around you. You may become non-verbal, lethargic, and withdraw emotionally and physically. Many girlies seek solace in their bedrooms or other quiet places where no one is present. For example, you may have enjoyed being at a party at the beginning, but halfway through, you realize you are DONE. All of a sudden, the music is too loud, the lights are flashing and they are too bright, and you desperately don’t want to be there anymore, even if you know everyone there. You are not in an environment where you can have a meltdown safely and so you retreat inside your body. Let’s take a look at some mindfulness techniques for when you are experiencing a shutdown.

  • Allow yourself time to rest and recover without judgment
  • Try to go somewhere quiet, dark, and calm where you can feel safe
  • *Prior* to a shutdown, set up a personal automatic text that you can send to a trusted family member or friend for when you are mid-shutdown. This way, you won’t have to type it all out while your brain is overwhelmed and they will know what your situation is and know why you might not be responding to them.
  • Lay on the floor
  • Listen to calming music
  • If you can, put more comfortable, non-restricting clothing on
  • Take a nap
  • Put your phone on do-not-disturb
  • Use a body sock or weighted blanket/stuffed animal
  • Watch those amazing aquarium videos of the fish swimming to calming music
  • Anything else that you find soothing

Supporting Yourself After a Meltdown

      Recovery can take quite a while, even into the following day! Meltdowns can be completely exhausting and it’s important to be gentle with yourself. You may experience negative feelings such as guilt, embarrassment, disorientation, and numbness. It’s important to take your time to heal and rest after a meltdown rather than continuing on as if it didn’t happen. If you have the ability, take a day, or as much time as you can, to rest and recuperate. Though this is not always possible due to work, school, and other responsibilities, try to take things slowly and gently. There are a variety of things you can do to take care of yourself during this vulnerable time.

  • Play a cozy game

  • Breathe fresh air, either through opening a window or going outside

  • Chew very flavorful gum

  • Allow yourself to sigh really deeply and loudly, the most dramatic sigh ever. The more groaning and exhaling the better.

  • Do some very light stretching

  • This is where you could journal about your experience, or just think through what happened. Think about how you got to the point of a meltdown and what contributed to it.

  • Take a look at the Wheel of Emotions to better determine what you were feeling

  • Walk barefoot

  • Take a bath or shower (or honestly, just sit/stand in the water and do nothing)

  • Notice the tensions you are holding in your body and make a conscious effort to release them like your jaw, shoulders, neck, and more.

  • Talk to yourself about anything! Make up a story, pretend you are singing/acting on stage, have a fake conversation with yourself, etc.

  • Buy a silly magazine that you haven’t thought of in years and do those fun little quizzes

  • Allow yourself a bit of time to rot in your bed and sulk around like a little goblin, but not all day or you’ll feel worse

  • Watch those Hey Bear baby sensory videos, honestly, those fruits can dance.

  • Eat your favorite safe food(s)

  • Drink water and/or an electrolyte drink to replenish your stores

  • Wear comfortable clothing (I like to wear a muumuu)

  • Indulge in a special interest

  • Stim/fidget

  • Take some time to be non-verbal and just exist

  • Snuggle with your pet or stuffed animal

  • Make yourself a cozy den/nest/fort

  • Lower the lights

  • Practice mindfulness with the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding technique

    Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. If you don’t want to do it in the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 manner (or in that order for that matter,) you can simply notice your environment/ the phenomena around you, and do as much as you can.

  • You can practice body tapping for anxiety

  • Engage in mindful deep breathing (this is much easier to do after a meltdown rather than mid one)

  • Use a weighted stuffed animal or blanket

  • Lay on a heating pad or use a castor oil pack

  • Watch your favorite movie (and if it’s not Shrek 2, you’re wrong)

  • Use gentle words with yourself

  • Try out one of the following websites:

      Both meltdowns and shutdowns are valid and common responses to stress or sensory overwhelm in individuals, however, everyone will have different experiences and responses. Try to recognize early warning signs within yourself in order to get yourself into a safe space mentally and physically prior to the meltdown/shutdown. This may help to make them less severe or even occur less, though that’s not always possible. Even if you can’t stop the meltdown or shutdown from occurring, simply recognizing that one is coming is valuable in learning about yourself and your needs. Hopefully some of these help you through some tough moments! If not, maybe they gave you some inspiration for something that truly works for you! Please understand that you know yourself best. Do and implement what feels right for you.

      PS. The safety of your body is paramount. If at any point you feel that you are not safe in your body or you are engaging in harmful stimming such as hitting yourself, picking at your skin, banging your head against a hard surface, and the like, make prior arrangements with a safe person that can be contacted in case of emergencies or harmful situations. Make sure this trusted person is in your emergency contacts and easily contactable. Together, you can come up with a plan of assistance for when future situations arise.

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