What is ADHD Paralysis?
author/ amanda/ august 18, 2023
   In essence, ADHD paralysis is a term used to describe executive dysfunction. It is a phenomenon experienced by individuals with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, also called ADHD. It stems from the challenges they face regarding the management and organization of tasks, thoughts, and actions, leading to difficulties in initiating or completing tasks that may seem simple to neurotypicals. ADHD paralysis can manifest in a variety of ways and can have a significant impact on daily life all across the board.
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   At its core, ADHD paralysis is characterized by a disruption in the brain’s executive functions, which is a set of cognitive processes responsible for planning, organizing, decision-making, initiating tasks, completing tasks, and self-regulation. Girls and women with ADHD often struggle with task initiation, task-switching/transitions, time management, and maintaining focus on tasks that require sustained effort. This can easily result in a continuous cycle of frustration, self-doubt, and lowered self-esteem. This is due to the fact that they often find themselves unable to achieve their desired goals or meet expectations, despite their good intentions.
ADHD paralysis is debilitating and misunderstood.
   For instance, a girlie with ADHD paralysis might have the intention to complete a seemingly simple task like cleaning her room or starting a new work/homework assignment, but she finds herself excruciatingly overwhelmed by the thought of getting started. This can quickly lead to avoidance, and a sense of “stuckness.” She may feel trapped within her own body and mind, unable to do the things she desperately wants to do. Oftentimes, her ability to prioritize tasks, break them down into manageable steps, and follow through with them is hindered. This can result in incomplete projects, missed deadlines, and intense feelings of guilt and shame. Some girls and women may be misdiagnosed as having depression due to their presumed lack of interest and motivation. Similarly, ADHD paralysis is NOT procrastination. Procrastination is purposeful while ADHD paralysis is not. ADHD paralysis is also NOT indicative of laziness or a lack of motivation. Laziness is literally not a thing. Instead the ADHD girlies possess a genuine cognitive challenge in managing and executing tasks efficiently.
   Because she may not be able to start or keep up with all of the tasks she wants/needs to get done, girls and women who suffer with ADHD paralysis may come to resent themselves, even seeing themselves as incompetent, and worthless. It’s difficult to deal with when those around you have written you off as lazy and refuse to see you as anything else. She may come to believe something is inherently wrong with her and that those around her are correct in their opinions of her.
This is an unimaginable hurt, being so misunderstood by those closest to you that you come to believe these misunderstandings.
   If you suffer from ADHD paralysis, doing certain everyday tasks can be immensely overwhelming. This could result in actions such as throwing away months old dirty dishes because washing them is unbearable, being unable to call your doctor to make an appointment because initiating the call is far too much, or choosing not to eat at all because deciding on what to eat feels impossible. You most likely feel intense guilt about wasted time, wishing you could just finish the task. Unfortunately, as more and more tasks go unfinished, the more anxiety and stress builds up in your brain, furthering the ADHD paralysis. It can feel a lot like concentrating on digging a deep hole and only realizing you forgot a ladder after the hole is already too deep to escape.
When neurotypicals have a to-do list, they tend to see it as it is. An ADHD girlie however, sees a to-do list as far more. Let’s look at an example:
Neurotypical To-Do List
ADHD Girlie To-Do List
- Inventory all the food in my house.
- Find a notepad and writing utensil.
- Take note of everything I need.
- Do I have enough money for this?
- Which grocery store should I go to?
- My favorite safe food is at one grocery store, but the prices are better at the other one.
- Do I have to go to multiple stores?
- I have to get dressed.
- I haven’t washed my hair in a while, is it too noticeable?
- I have to find my keys.
- I have to find my money.
- Did I remember to lock the door?
- Can I carry it all or do I need a cart/basket?
- …
- I have to look the number up online because I never save it in my contacts.
- What if they judge me or rush me on the phone?
- I don’t even know what dates/times I’m available. I have to look that up first.
- How much is this going to cost me? Is it even worth it to go?
- I never really vibed with this dentist much anyway… but it’s too difficult to find another one.
- I hate it when they try to talk to me with their hands in my mouth, what am I supposed to do?
- What toothpaste flavors do they have available? What if I don’t like what they have?
- I’m too scared to know if I have a cavity or not.Â
- The office is kind of far away, do I have enough gas in my car?
- I’ll have to leave extra early to get there on time.
- …
- All my little spoons are dirty.
- Find all the other dirty dishes in the house.
- Check the dishwasher for clean dishes.Â
- Put everything away.
- Do I have enough dish soap?
- I forgot to clean my scrub brush/sponge last time and it’s all dirty.Â
- I hate dirty dishwater so I have to put on gloves, but the rubber feels weird and it squeaks too.Â
- Do I have enough dishwasher detergent tabs or do I need to buy more?
- Those are so expensive.
- The dishes have been sitting in the sink for a while now, I don’t think everything will come clean.Â
- Maybe I should buy paper plates.
- …
   This can easily cause overload if you are a girl or woman with ADHD. Neurotypicals may see the tip of the iceberg, but they never seem to understand how big it is beneath the surface. With so many aspects to each task, it’s difficult to know where to even begin. This can cause someone with ADHD paralysis to freeze, physically doing nothing at all while their brain continuously berates them for it. This causes extreme stress and anxiety. Begging and pleading with your brain to allow you to “just get up and do it” is often not enough, causing you to feel stuck, which is where the word “paralysis” comes into play.
It’s hard, seeing others complete daily tasks in such a quick and simple manner. Because of this, it’s easy to question yourself and wonder what is “wrong” with you. Nothing is wrong with you. Laziness is not real. You are not procrastinating. People misunderstanding you is on them, not you. You have ADHD. It is hard. You WILL be okay.
   (Although it’s easier said than done, if you have any questions or concerns regarding ADHD paralysis and managing it, talk to a trusted healthcare professional to see if there are any medicinal, vitamin, or holistic approaches you can take to manage your symptoms.)